This is the one that was made before you even showed up. This is the one that sets the agenda, determines the goal and establishes the frame. The decision before the decision is the box. When you think outside the box, what you’re actually doing is questioning the decision before the decision. That decision is [...]
This is the one that was made before you even showed up. This is the one that sets the agenda, determines the goal and establishes the frame.
The decision before the decision is the box.
When you think outside the box, what you’re actually doing is questioning the decision before the decision.
That decision is far more important and much more difficult to change than the decision you actually believe you’re about to make.
-Seth Godin
Have you noticed something about Jesus’ comments about church? He tells Peter that the truth Peter spoke is the foundational truth of the church – “You are Christ/Messiah, the Son of the Living God.” One statement Jesus made has recently grabbed my heart and is changing my life – “My house shall be called a [...]
Have you noticed something about Jesus’ comments about church? He tells Peter that the truth Peter spoke is the foundational truth of the church – “You are Christ/Messiah, the Son of the Living God.” One statement Jesus made has recently grabbed my heart and is changing my life – “My house shall be called a house of prayer.” Too often we make His house a house of music, a house of teaching, a house of programs or a even a house of cards. Music is great, teaching is needed, programs – well… Jesus wants his house to be a place of prayer.
Is your church a house of prayer?
From my friend Tim Stevens People leave churches every day…sometimes even when they’ve been attending that church for years or even decades. But for some reason–a time comes when they decide they need to go somewhere else. Some of those reasons are good. Some of those reasons are bad. The purpose of this post is [...]
From my friend Tim Stevens
People leave churches every day…sometimes even when they’ve been attending that church for years or even decades. But for some reason–a time comes when they decide they need to go somewhere else. Some of those reasons are good. Some of those reasons are bad. The purpose of this post is not to debate the reasons–but rather to talk about the way that you leave a church.
Before I share my ideas on how to leave a church, let me give you my very unscientific stats on how most people leave churches:
▪ Group A: 20% leave kicking and screaming. They talk about everything they hate, how shallow the sermons are, why the kids program didn’t help and how the music is too loud or too traditional or too something else. And, of course, they say, “You’d be shocked by how many people agree with me, but everyone else is just too scared to speak their mind.”
▪ Group B: 79% say nothing. They just disappear. They quietly resign from their ministry roles and they stop attending. If you are privy to their giving records, you’ll usually find their hearts actually left a few months prior. Something happened and they became less enthused about the future. Or perhaps they moved into a new phase of life and the church just wasn’t working for them anymore. Either way, at some point you are walking through the hall at church and you think, “I don’t think I’ve seen Bob & Harriet recently.” You soon realize they quietly slipped away.
You might think Group A is bigger than 20%. But it’s just because they have VERY loud mouths. They get people worked up and talk to everyone, so it seems like the whole church is upset when it is really just a few.
You might also think that Group B chose the right way to leave a church. But truthfully, slipping away quietly can be just as painful for the pastor or leaders of the church (especially when you’ve been there for years) as those who leave loudly.
Thinking of leaving your church? Here’s how I would do it…
▪ I would write a letter to the pastors and leaders. In this letter, I would talk about the way God had changed my life through the ministry of that church. I would talk about how some of my family members met Christ there, were baptized, went on missions trips and more. I would talk about how my own thoughts and beliefs were formed through my years at the church. I would talk about how I am more like Christ because of my time there. I would tell stories of specific retreats or camps or services where my life (or those of my family) was changed because of the church and its’ leaders.
▪ In this letter, I would not gripe or complain. I would not talk about the stuff I don’t like or decisions with which I disagree.
▪ In a short paragraph, I would say that “my wife and I have decided to attend and serve in a different church for this next season of our spiritual growth.”
▪ I would end the letter by assuring the pastor that he/she will never hear us talk badly about this church. I would encourage the pastor to feel free to share this letter with anyone who questions why we left.
▪ THEN, and this is most important, I would not mail this letter. Rather, I would set an appointment with the pastor and I would hand-deliver the letter. I would read it aloud to him–or ask him to read it in my presence. I would re-state my love for him and profound thanks for the ministry he had in my life.
▪ Then I would walk away and keep my promise. I would never speak negatively to anyone about that church. In fact, when people asked, I would say, “God changed my life at that church!”
You might have noticed that my percentages for Group A and B above only added up to 99%. That’s because I think only 1% leave a church in the way I’ve suggested. Well, actually, it’s probably more like .00001%. Because in 15 years at Granger, I only remember one family leaving the way I suggested. It was Mike and Laura who left in 1996. And the way they left marked me.
If I ever have to leave a church, I want to leave like Mike and Laura.
What about you?
To “honor” means to ascribe worth to a person and/or give recognition of another’s worth. In 1776, colonists signed their names to a radical document that would change the world, the Declaration of Independence, knowing that they would probably give their lives because they put their names on this document. The final sentence says this, [...]
To “honor” means to ascribe worth to a person and/or give recognition of another’s worth.
In 1776, colonists signed their names to a radical document that would change the world, the Declaration of Independence, knowing that they would probably give their lives because they put their names on this document. The final sentence says this, “And for the support of this declaration and with a firm reliance and the protection of the divine providence [that’s God] we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.”
That’s called commitment. They pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor. What have you committed that to in your life? That’s the power of commitment, because today the United States is the most powerful and influential nation in the world.
Today’s scripture, Romans 12:10, suggests that we push others ahead of ourselves. We show each other honor, not disgust or any such attitude. We are glad when others are promoted. We are thrilled when others are blessed. We push others out front, not behind us. To be devoted means to be permanently linked to one another. It is a fervent commitment.
Even the secular world understands the value of recognition of those who serve others. Corporations and small businesses have seen a tremendous increase of productivity and improved morale in the people who work for them when proper recognition is given to sacrificial service. They have seen the destruction that comes when recognition for sacrificial service is replaced with reward for productivity. Appreciation for sacrificial service builds up, rewards for productivity breed unhealthy competition then quality of service is replaced with quantity of mass production.
Scripture tells us in several places to give honor to those who are worthy of honor. But I also think it is worth mentioning, not everyone is worthy of honor.
Some examples of those commands:
Honor the Lord Your God – Exodus 20
Honor your father and mother – Ephesians 6:23
Husbands, honor your wife – 1 Peter 3:7
Without shocking the weasel out of you, I believe that for many “Christians” and churches, God is not enough. While we openly admit and verbalize that God is enough, we live like He really isn’t. God has a special place in his heart for the Israelite nation and it very evident in scriptures, in both [...]
Without shocking the weasel out of you, I believe that for many “Christians” and churches, God is not enough. While we openly admit and verbalize that God is enough, we live like He really isn’t. God has a special place in his heart for the Israelite nation and it very evident in scriptures, in both Old and New Testaments. God’s desire has always to be be king of his people (both Jew and Gentile) and be all that they need and want. Nothing illustrates this topic more that the story found in 1 Samuel 8.
God had kept up his side of the bargain to the Israelites by delivering them from bondage and giving to them their promised land. Once they had established themselves in the promised land, they observed something about other nations that was different. God had given them a system of leadership through judges who served God and the people. The judges, according to Judges 2, were “raised up to save the people out of the hand of those who plundered them.” In that same chapter of scripture, it says that God raised up the judges and the judge would save the people from their enemies, but when the judge died, the people would rebel and follow after other gods. This process happened over and over throughout the book of Judges until we get to the book of Samuel.
Samuel was a prophet that presided over Israel. He wasn’t perfect, but he obeyed God. As a matter of fact, scripture tells us that the LORD was with Samuel and none of his words fell to the ground. As Samuel aged to an old man, his sons became judges, corrupt ones. About this time the people began to desire for a king like the other nations that surrounded them. The sad part of this story is that God tells Samuel to appoint a king over the people because they had rejected Him as their king. In other words, they wanted to be like everyone else. God tells them, “I am your King. I am all that you need.” Sadly, they refused to obey the voice of Samuel and said, “No! But there shall be a king over us, that we may be like all the nations, and our king may judge us, and go out and fight our battles.” Again, it is sad that they had all that they had requested in God, but wanted more.
You see, God was not enough for them. They wanted more when there was no more. As followers of Christ, we too want more. We want what we can see. We want what we don’t need. Whether we want to admit it or not, sometimes for American “Christians” God is not enough for us. We want security. We want programs. We want pastors. We want buildings. We want more. When is God going to be enough for the church in America?
God is all we need now and forever.
In what is not a total surprise for those of us who are involved in church life, new data from the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey, conducted by the Pew Research Center, shows 86% of women are affiliated with a religion vs. 79% of men. When the answer to the question, “Do you believe in God [...]
In what is not a total surprise for those of us who are involved in church life, new data from the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey, conducted by the Pew Research Center, shows 86% of women are affiliated with a religion vs. 79% of men.
When the answer to the question, “Do you believe in God or a universal spirit?” was affirmative, survey participants were then asked, “Are you absolutely certain, fairly certain, not too certain or not at all certain?” 77% of women and 65% of men were absolutely certain. Those who believe in God were subsequently asked, “Which comes closest to your view of God: God is a person with whom people can have a relationship, or God is an impersonal Force?” 58% of the women believe in a personal God vs. 45% of men. 66% of women compared to 49% of men pray at least daily; 63% of women compared to 49% of men say religion is very important in their lives; and 44% of women attend worship services at least weekly vs. 34% of men.
Men have been missing from the religious landscape for the past three decades. Since the rise in popularity of four wheelers, NASCAR, paint ball, NFL expansion teams, and online porn, more church going guys are staying away to pursue their pleasures. Hope you found the humor in that last statement. The fact is, men guard their personal time more now than ever and second, many men see the church as place for guys who are, what’s the word? Weak! The church has not knocked a home run in teaching what an authentic man really is. Also, the high profile preacher types who have fallen from their lofty perches hasn’t helped the cause either.
I believe men would be affiliated with God if the church gave them a reason to be. Please don’t give me the reason they need to be, is that they will go to hell if thy are not. Going to heaven or hell is based on a whether a person has accepted the free gift of salvation that comes through Christ, not religion.
So, give me your thoughts – how can the church engage men who apparently are the minority in religion, to be more involved in the life of the church or better to be involved with their families in the life of the church? Leave a comment and let’s get a conversation started!
Being Great/Successful/ (whatever word you want to use) Requires Humility You want to be great? Serve. You want to be first? Be last. You want to make it to the front? You start in the back. You want to stand out in life? You step down. And you start now. And just start with the little things. When Jesus hung [...]
Being Great/Successful/ (whatever word you want to use) Requires Humility
You want to be great? Serve. You want to be first? Be last. You want to make it to the front? You start in the back. You want to stand out in life? You step down. And you start now. And just start with the little things.
When Jesus hung on the cross that was an act of servanthood. Right before that He met with His closest friends, His disciples, at the Last Supper, He said “I want to leave you with an image. Remember a while back when you guys fought over who’s going to be the greatest? I want you to see what I’m all about.” And He got on His hands and knees, grabbed a towel and proceeded to wash their dirty, stinky feet. Then He went and hung on the cross. That is the picture of serving.
Like the disciples we want the throne. Jesus says, go for the towel instead because in that towel you will find blessings and rewards. The great life that you want—it’s in the towel. Serve!
I don’t know about you guys, but I am selfish. And for us as men, selfishness seems to magnify itself when we want something for ourselves. It has taken me all of my 47 years to understand my selfishness and to get a hold of it. I used to think I could serve others and still focus on my needs and wants, but that just isn’t so.
So…
Where To Start
I want this to be really practical. Here are some little acts of service to help get our focus off of ourselves. Let’s start at home:
It’s really all about the small things! THE KEY IS, don’t wait to be asked before you start to serve. Just do it on your own.
There is a cancer that has been around the American church for decades that needs to be addressed by pastors, ministry leaders, seminaries, denominations, and the person in the pew. That cancer is what is known as Consumer Christianity. I will try to give a simple definition explaining as best as I can. The word [...]
There is a cancer
that has been around the American church for decades that needs to be addressed
by pastors, ministry leaders, seminaries, denominations, and the person in the
pew. That cancer is what is known as Consumer Christianity. I will try to give a
simple definition explaining as best as I can. The word consumer is pretty self explanatory in that it is a verb that describes someone who consumes. Being a
consumer means that you take and take, and take and rarely ever give back. Take
for example the retail segment of our economy. That industry is a consumer
driven industry where the retailer has a product and the consumer buys it for
their consumption or use. There would be no product unless there were a
consumer and there would be nor consumer unless there were a product. A
two-edge sword, one creates the other.
In churches across
America today we have the same dilemma. A cause/creation factor of the consumer
wanting from the church and the church offering up a product that meets the
needs of it's consumers. We want to Live Our Best Life Now with Joel Osteen and
find out how to live a Purpose Driven Life with Rick Warren. Our children are
fed a diet of Veggie Tales, then when they're old enough they move onto
whatever the coolest current Contemporary Christian Music offering is. Our
church culture is filled with church shoppers looking for the best bargain, the
best services, the best programs to meet their needs. What in the name of
Napoleon Dynamite have we come to?
The problem for the
church in America is that it has acquiesced (for you guys in the south, that
means to comply/give in) to the
consumer and given it what it wants at the sake of the gospel. I know you may
be thinking you know where this going. I am going to slam guys like Rick
Warren, Bill Hybels, Ed Young, Andy Stanley etc… The answer is no. I am
friends with Rick Warren and a church I used to pastor was awarded the Church
Health Award from Saddleback/Purpose Driven. I pastor I church that God allowed
me to plant that is considered contemporary/edgy/different. Let me warn church
planters that you will face this more quickly than you imagine. There will be
those who come in with their ideas and agenda as to what your church should be
and look like.
What I am talking
about is not the church, but the people who are attending. They are shopping
for the best product to meet their need, bottom line. What is the problem with
that? The problem is that pastors, under pressure to be successful, keep
people, increase the finances are willing to acquiesce to keep people from
leaving. I am all about reaching people, ask anyone at Bridge Church and
they will tell you that I focus on reaching people more than I should. I am
also about making sure that people have opportunities to grow, serve, and make an
impact in their world. What I am not about, is stroking and petting those who
want to have their personal, individual needs met. If Bridge Church doesn't "meet their needs,”
then there is only one option. Don't be afraid to lose people. I never want to see
people go, but there are times when people need to leave and there are times
when I was too afraid to lose people that I kept around people that needed to
leave.
The damage that is
being done here is not to pastors or churches, but to the gospel. Everyone,
pastors and congregants both need to realize and be taught that everything is
about Jesus. Churches do not exist for pastors or for people to come get their
needs met. The church exists for Jesus. It is there to make him famous so
that he will be looked at as special, as holy, as the Lord of Lords and the
King of Kings. Christianity is not about the next greatest Christian novel or
the heart touching worship song. It is not about cool buildings, large budget,
or the unbelievable programs. Christianity is about Jesus. Church is
about Jesus. It is for him and by him!
Warren Wiersbe
wrote:
Suffice it to say now that a true disciple is not a reservoir but a
gushing fountain, an artesian well of spiritual blessing. He does not live to
get; he lives to give. What he receives from the Lord, he shares with others;
and in sharing, he receives even more. He is careful to guard the precious
spiritual investment God has put into his life, but he also invests that
treasure in the lives of others.
Wiersbe, W. W. (1988). Prayer : Basic training. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale.
This problem is
identified in scripture, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or
of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please
man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10 ESV) Consumer Christianity is man, pleasing
man, not man pleasing God. When that happens the gospel of Jesus has no effect,
no power, and no energy. Christianity and church become a three-ring circus
where the ringmaster is trying to keep things going and pretty soon it will
collapse.
You can have
exciting programs, great buildings, excellent music and speaking, but if that
church doesn't focus on Jesus it is a consumer driven church. The
church/ministry that focuses on pleasing people and meeting peoples needs will
not be a servant of Christ. It may grow, but it will not be an Acts 1:8 church
(you might want to read that one).
As a side note, at
Bridge Church we are re-visioning how we believe that God wants to use us to
reach northeast Ohio. Our focus has been on children/students, Sunday gathering,
Acts of Kindness, and Small groups.
These four areas will remain a priority, but we will add one more item
to our focus and that will be church planting. The first four areas have been resourced very well the first
two years of existence of Bridge Church and now that we add church planting we
need to resource that as well. In doing so, some of our church think that we
will be neglecting our core mission of having Bridge Church in Perry. Contrary to
that belief we plan to continue resource BC@P, investing further in our four
core areas and looking for land or land/building to continue to reach
Perry/Madison area.
Christian. A very descriptive word within itself. It can stand alone on it’s on merits and paints a picture in the mind that varies from person to person. But, what does it mean? Who does it describe? Is it an accurate word to describe those who use it? The American Heritage Dictionary defines a Christian [...]
Christian. A very descriptive word within itself. It can stand alone on it’s on merits and paints a picture in the mind that varies from person to person. But, what does it mean? Who does it describe? Is it an accurate word to describe those who use it?
The American Heritage Dictionary defines a Christian as “one who professes belief in Jesus as Christ and follows the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus; one who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.” Sounds pretty reasonable and correct. That is if you want a dictionary version. Don’t get me wrong, this is a definition that many Christians would work around to eventually and mutter robotically if they had to verbalize their faith.
I am no longer calling myself a Christian. I am abandoning the label that was used only once in scriptures. I know, I am a heretic! The label that couple of billion of us use has been misused and honestly it has lost it’s meaning. Anyone it seems calls themselves a Christian if they attend church once or twice a year, watch a religious program, do a good deed or otherwise are related to someone who really is a khristianos – the anointed.
I am going to begin referring to myself as follower of Jesus or a disciple of Jesus. Rings kind of different than calling yourself a Christian, huh? Many good church people will think I am a freak, weird right wing conspiratist who wants to ruin the foundations of Christianity. Not so fast. I only want to correct and re-direct those who have been misguided by the term that many people flagrantly toss around. Think about it, Jesus didn’t say, “If you want to be a Christian, come to Easter and Christmas services.” Neither did he say, “Just do your best and I will take care of the rest. I will guarantee you a spot in heaven for being a good person.” and I am sure he definitely did not say, “You are a part of a certain religion or denomination, don’t worry, that makes you a Christian!”
What Jesus did say was, “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” These words don’t quite line up with the go to church twice a year or “do gooder” philosophy of being a Christian. Or how about this one, “Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot
be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Maybe it would help to know that the definition for the Greek word for hate “miseo” is different than our meaning of hate. We see hate as despising or opposing. For us, hate is a strong emotion, one we like to teach our children not to use or express. But this expression for the Greek Jews meant to turn away from, to detach oneself. How many people really want to use the above scriptural references to refer to themselves as Christians.
I am a follower of Jesus. One of his disciples. Am I perfect? No, but I seek to be a student learning from the master. I want to walk with the one who died for me and I am willing to die for him.
I want to challenge you to turn the establishment upside down and start referring to yourself as a follower of Jesus, his disciple, a believer. People will look at you as if you are crazy. You will be different! That’s how it was in Antioch when followers were first called Christians. They were different, outcasts, not normal. That’s how I want to be looked at. How about you?
Use the form below to search the site:
Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!
A few highly recommended friends...
All entries, chronologically...
